tonight lets celebrate not being married
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
