she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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