Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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