Acid is not a monday night drug
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
