He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
