We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
