just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
