I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
