My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
