She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
