No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
