just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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