drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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