is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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