we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
