His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
