Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
