Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
