True but thats because hes a fetus.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dick very happy bro
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
