in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
