yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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