Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
