ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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