She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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