Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
