he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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