Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
