So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
