yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
