This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
