I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
