I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
