I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
