you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
