is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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