Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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