No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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