I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
