Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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