i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
