I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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