take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
