kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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