my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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