wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
