Can Purell be used as lube?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
