I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
