if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
