420 ftw
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
