pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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