He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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