there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
