Umm I'm too high to move.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize